Meeting my sisters

It's been some time since I've given a sister update. Honestly, there wasn't much to update on—well, nothing that I felt the urge to share, if I'm being honest. But now, I have some news!!

First, I'll start with this: My family and I took our first family vacation to California!! I actually planned this trip last October and was able to book it and set things in motion for my main reason for going—to finally meet my birth sisters! But I wanted this to be a surprise. I didn’t know how I was going to do it, but I had it in my head that I was going to find a way! Would I just call them up and say, "Surprise! I'm in Cali! Let’s meet up!"? No, that wouldn’t do. Or what if I called them and said, "So, what are you doing? Want to go get lunch?" Haha, that would be funny! But I didn’t think that would be good either. Could I reach out to someone close to them and let them in on the surprise? But who would that be? And it would definitely have to be two different people for each sister. The problem was, I didn’t really know any of their family, friends, or acquaintances. Nada. I mostly just heard about them. Other than the kids, who were too young to rely on, there was no one on the inside I could get help from. I was really on my own to pull off this "surprise."

As the trip got closer, I still didn’t have a good way to really "surprise" them. It would be so hard. I wanted to surprise them together, have both sisters be surprised at the same time. But realistically, that wasn’t going to be possible.

Especially since one of my sisters had decided to stop talking to me completely. Over something I can’t even begin to understand. The last time we spoke was when she asked me for advice and thoughts on a situation. I let her vent, talk, and then I told her the ugly, uncomfortable truth. I’m pretty certain it wasn’t the answer she wanted or the words she wanted to hear from her sister. She also revealed during that last call that she never wanted to talk to our other sister again. Ugh. But that’s not a story for today. Back to the surprise I was trying to plan—how was this even going to work? WTF. If my sister isn’t talking to me or our other sister, am I supposed to just meet one? Can I still surprise her?

After talking to my husband and a couple of close friends, I finally decided that I had to just tell my sister that I was coming and let that be the surprise. Time was running out because when I made this decision, it was already the month of the trip!

I also knew that my sister was going on a trip with her daughter for the summer, so I had to tell her soon! She would have one week back from her trip, and then I would be there! Well, I told her right before she went on her trip—not as soon as I should have. I know, terrible. Haha.

But I told her! I sent her a text and let her know I was coming to Cali and that we could finally meet!

I was excited, nervous, anxious, worried—just all kinds of feels about the fact that it was happening! I held on to a tiny piece of hope that maybe I could still reach my other sister. She had blocked me on social media and even blocked my number. So the only way I could get a message to her would be to send a letter. So that’s exactly what I did—I wrote a card and sent her a letter.

I had planned events and sightseeing for us to do while in Cali. I was born and raised there, but it has been ages since I’ve been back, so I was going to be playing tourist! I also wanted to celebrate our baby’s birthday at Super Nintendo World! We had all been dying to go, and now we were finally going! This was going to be a great, fun trip, and I could meet my sister!! I even invited her to join us in any activities if she could. I had a specific spot in mind where I wanted to meet up with my sister. I had a vision. And I really wanted it to happen, even if it was with just one sister.

Once we were in Cali, I told my sister and even let her know when I was hoping to meet her! I planned it for later in the evening, in case she had to work. I was up for changing the time if needed too. I’d like to say I was met with enthusiasm and excitement, but I wasn’t. Instead, I was met with excuses and a lame reason why that day and time wouldn’t work.

Really? I flew thousands of miles across the USA to meet you, and you’re not going to even try?? Am I not worth the effort? The traffic? It could be just you and your daughter, that’s totally ok! Honestly, I kind of wished she would have said, "OMG, I’m going to call out from work because I can’t miss this chance to hang out with my baby sister who I haven’t seen since she was adopte at 2." Or maybe, "You’re worth the traffic, sis! I’ll fight it to come see you and hang out!" Maybe that’s too selfish? No, it wasn’t. Not at all.

To be honest, that letdown really pushed my buttons and had me upset and so disappointed.

I’m grateful my husband was able to help me stay calm so I didn’t cry too much while on vacation. I even had to text my best friend in Hawaii, whom I call my sister, to vent and tell her the response I got. I was steaming. But I couldn’t let that ruin a good trip.

I understand she couldn’t do much since funds were tight after her recent vacation, but I had hoped there would be more eagerness and effort into meeting me. Either way, I was going to be there for seven days, so there was plenty of time for her to see me. Only two of our days were really full, with us going to Universal. I figured if she really wanted to meet me and see me, then she’d better make some time and find a way to do it. Put some effort into it! After all, I always feel like I do all the work and make lots of efforts, so she can too.

Turns out she could only meet on the weekend. So I took a deep breath and said, fine. So be it. If it’s only one day, then it’s only one day. So we planned it for Sunday.

Let me also update you about that letter I sent to my other sister—I have none. Ha. I don’t know if she got my letter, and she never reached out to me. So it’s sad and unfortunate.

Sunday came, and we planned to meet in the late afternoon at Santa Monica Pier. I used to hang out there as a young adult, and I have many fond memories there and in Santa Monica. So, I guess I wanted to continue the good memories.

We had plans in the morning to do some sightseeing at the La Brea Tar Pits and to grab lunch afterward. Then we’d head over to Santa Monica Pier.

While we were at the Tar Pits, my sister texted me that she got to the Pier early. It was definitely earlier than I expected, but I was glad she did. I was worried that she might try to get me there early, but she never rushed me or urged me to get there any sooner than the time we agreed upon.

When we finally headed down to the Pier, earlier than expected too, I had that nervous and anxious feeling again. Luckily, a few dabs of concentrate helped ease my mind.

I was excited and yet unsure how to feel. I was about to meet my birth sister. I have never met her before. We’ve been talking and texting on and off for like five years, and now I can finally meet her. She can finally look into my eyes. That’s something she always said she wanted to do. The time had come for that moment to finally come true!

We found ourselves a table and sat down. I texted her where we were seated, and she called me as she was walking through the crowd to find me. I kept looking around anxiously, trying to spot her. My husband spotted her first, and then I saw her and her daughter. Her daughter immediately ran to me and gave me a big hug. It was the sweetest thing! She was carrying a flower and dropped it to hug me. And then my sister rushed over, reached out, and we hugged! She lifted her glasses, and I lifted mine, so she could look into my eyes. My eyes were definitely a bit watery, and I think hers were as well. Or perhaps it was the glare from the bright sun? Lol.

The moment was surreal. Here was my sister, finally giving me a hug and telling me how I’m all grown up. Which honestly felt weird because it’s not like I knew her growing up. It was like here’s some stranger (but she’s also not) who knows you from when you were little, and yet you don’t know them. It was just weird to hear, and I wasn’t sure how to process that. If that makes any sense. Haha. But we were finally together.

The kids got along great and immediately connected. As a matter of fact, they started talking and interacting with each other as if they were old friends just picking up where they left off. It was beautiful.

We got the kids passes so they could enjoy some rides and have fun while we chatted and hung out.

Cousins

My sister's fiancé also came along, and he and my husband chatted with each other while helping ensure the kids were safe and having fun. Her fiancé seems like a great guy. I only found out about him about a month ago. But she seems happy, and he seems to treat her and Ivy well. He was very polite and seemed like a gentleman. I even caught a sweet moment where he complimented her on her natural beauty, and she got all shy and blushed. It was sweet. They are definitely in their "honeymoon" phase. She deserves happiness, and I hope it lasts forever for her! He better treat her right—that's all I gotta say! Lol.

We strolled around the park at the pier, talking, chatting, and taking pictures of the kids. We laughed, let out some frustrations, chatted about life updates, discussed our feelings, and had some good sister time. We laughed and enjoyed each other's company. It actually felt too short. I wish we could have done more, hung out longer. Maybe we could have gone to dinner? I don’t know. I guess it would have been nice to end the night with her and get as much time together as we could.

But I know this was just one meeting of many to come. There will be more.

We talked about this day, the day we could finally meet, and it happened. I know it might have taken some time, and it didn’t happen as soon as we would have liked, but that’s okay. I made it happen, and I know we will meet again.

There's more for us to discuss and more bonding for us to do. For our next meet-up, I hope to have one-on-one sister time. Maybe get pedicures? Go stroll the mall? I hope to be able to talk about our family and memories. I would love to learn more about my family—the good and the bad. Maybe go through old photos and stuff? I also want to visit my birth mother's gravesite.

I contemplated asking my sister where she was laid to rest when I was there, but I don’t think it was the right time. I couldn’t bring myself to ask. I suppose that wasn’t the trip for that visit.

Overall, it was a great visit. And I’m so glad we could finally meet and look into each other's eyes. There’s this odd feeling that I have that somehow this meet-up should have been more exciting than I felt. Like I should be jumping for joy, dancing, and telling the world. I don’t know. Lol. I’m disappointed I didn’t get to meet both my sisters. That’s what I would have truly loved to have done—to meet them both, build memories, laugh, cry, smile, hug, and make our relationships stronger. I know it’s not perfect, and we have disagreements, and we are each going through our own struggles. I hope that one day that can still come true, and we can all hang out.

It feels a bit like I only have one sister, and that’s too bad. The other one is truly missing out on my awesomeness. I still have love for her and wish her nothing but the best. Especially for her kids. Those babies deserve a happy, healthy, safe, and loving enviroment and mother. I truly hope she can heal and grow, and maybe we can rekindle our relationship.

At the end of the day, the trip was a great and successful one. Was it perfect? Not quite. But it was beautiful, and it was fun. I had a wonderful time with my family. We did plenty of things, saw so many sights, made new memories while reminiscing about my old ones. I can’t wait for our next family adventure! And I truly can’t wait for the next meet-up with my sister.

Me and my sister

Big sis kisses