Let the story continue

I last left off with saying, that during a particular rough time in my life I met someone very special. I was having a hard time just paying rent for a room. Not my own place, but a room in a house with other people. I also was in a stage of my life where I wanted to party often and slacked on my job. I continued with school, and did my best not to slack there! I had started helping some friends with a new Latin night club and would help promote and do photographs too. It was at this place I met my, now husband. A handsome Navy man who simply asked "Do you wanna dance?" I didn't give in easily to his charm. As a matter of fact I turned him down the first time he wanted to make our relationship official. We obviously ended up back together and becoming an official couple. I moved in with him and our relationship grew to more than I could have ever imagined. He was truly my prince charming, and treated me better than any man I have ever been with. Crazy right? Chivalry is not dead with him either. He always opens the car door, or any door for that matter, for me and insist I never I do it! I use to think I would never get married again. I thought it just wasn't for me, and I didn't need a piece of paper to justify my relationship with the one I love. But somehow, with him, I wanted to get married. I wanted a life with him. I felt he wanted more in a relationship and that we could grow old together and even have a family! Well that's exactly what happen. We got married and I became Mrs Ortiz!

So what about my finding my bio parents? lol sorry I'm probably getting a little side tracked! Well not to worry. I'm getting there soon!

My husband use to always ask me about my family. He knew I was adopted and that I hadn't talked to my adoptive family in quite a long time. He use to encourage me to try and talk to my adoptive mom one day at least. He use to say he would like to meet them one day. I wasn't too keen on that idea. I really wasn't interested in contacting them either. He would ask if I knew anything about my bio mom or dad, and I had nothing. He told me whenever I was ready he would be there for me to help in my search whenever I chose to begin it again.

Well the one thing I really wanted finally happened! I was pregnant!! I was so excited!! We were going to be parents! I was going to be a mother to a little person! ahhh!! Then we found out the gender and learned our little bean was a baby girl! Oh the anticipation!

We really weren't sure how to prepare for our little bundle of joy, and it became even more difficult to do as we were preparing to move and leave Hawaii. We were moving because my husband was being medically discharged from the Navy due to an injury. We chose to move to Florida, as he was from Cleveland, Ohio and that was too cold for both of us, and he didn't want to particularly go back there to live. I am from Cali, but didn't care to move back there,and he had a sister in Florida and we had some friends there too, so Florida seemed like a good spot to go. Warm, sunny, and still had beaches we could go to! So at 6 months pregnant, we said good bye to our friends and family, one of the hardest thing I've ever had to do, and moved from beautiful Hawaii filled with gorgeous mountains and clear ocean views, to sunny Florida. The home of Disney World and oranges! Lol that's all I could think of when I thought of Florida. We didn't have long until our sweet baby girl would be making her entrance into the world. So we prepared as much as we could. We got our first home, filled it with our belongings and waited for her arrival.

Our sweet girl was born July 27th, 2015. Rosalina Kamalei Ortiz

Being new parents is such a wonderful, overwhelming, exhausting, and challenging,but the most rewarding experience ever. Thinking about how much I loved her and wanted to always protect her and be there for her had me thinking and wondering more about my birth mother. Who was she, where was she, was she still alive? What was she like? Do we share anything in common? Why didn't she want me? What happen? Did I have siblings? Did they know of me? Did they think of me, did my mother not want me? How could a mother not want their child? I could never fathom such a thought. It broke my heart to think of it. I wanted nothing more in this world than to take care of my baby girl and make sure I raised her right, and was always there for her. To support her, love her, teach her, protect her, take care for her, and give her all that I could. I realized having a child of my own, I wanted to know more about where I came from. My daughter may want to know one day, and may even ask me. What was I going to say to her? I don't know, and leave it at that? No, I couldn't leave her wondering and questioning. I know it may be some time until she actually asks those things, but perhaps I should prepare now for those future questions. I mean after all, daddy had a family and a mom an dad, while I, I didn't know what I had or who my family was. Yes I had a family I had gained from my time in Hawaii, but I didn't have my very own family. A birth family. It's kinda hard to explain. I didn't have a mom or dad I could call up and say hi to, ask for advice, get maternal affection from, or even go visit and spend time with. I know this isn't always everything, and it isn't something I needed to be me and who I already was. I had carried on just fine without knowing. I had for quite some time any ways. But it lingered in the back of my mind. I felt the need to know more about where I came from. Not only for my daughter, but for closure purposes I think. I thought it would help ease my mind. And who knows I may gain something positive from it all.

My daughter was now 2 years old and well, I hadn't started the search yet. I still hadn't gained the courage to start it. And to be honest I still wasn't sure how I was going to go about doing it either. I had actually reconnected with my twin cousins from my adoptive family and we talked and caught up with our lives, talked about my adoptive family, and the possibility of me doing my search again. We unfortunately loss touch and I haven't heard from them in awhile. Not sure what happened. Perhaps my adoptive mom got word some how we were talking? Who knows.

After loosing contact with them and being back to not talking to my adoptive family, I had a very interesting dream. Perhaps it was an omen. I've had one or 2 before and I took this one seriously and to heart. I felt it inside me, that I had the dream for a reason. God was telling me something, and it was time to act on it.

I dreamed that it was time to start searching for my bio parents/family. I don't remember the exact details to the dream, but I do know it felt too real. I needed to act on it and go ahead and start the search for real. Gather the things I need and figure out how to do this. So I found a group on FB dedicated to just that. A group with what's called "Search Angels" to help assist, guide and support those on their journey to finding their bio families. And so I was ready to ask these people for help, all because of a dream.