A little about me

I thought I would start off by giving you a little history about me. I was born in southern California. Huntington Park to be exact. I grew up in the San Fernando Valley. From Granada Hills, Encino and Woodland Hills. I grew up and was raised by what society would consider a very well off family. This family was my adopted family. I had one brother, who was 13 years older than me. They were African American. Their race doesn't matter really, but me, being a light brown kid, with black parents, I got questioned often and sometimes made fun of. I was not allowed to speak about my adoption. I was told at a young age that I was adopted, but it was nobody's business and they didn't need to know about it. So when kids would ask, why are my parents black, and I'm not, I was told to simply tell them that I was just mixed and light skinned. Ok so I'm mixed, but what am I mixed with?? I was told I was mixed with several ethnicity's. Those ethnicity's included: Native American, African American, Italian, and more. What was the more? I don't know. But it didn't include Caucasian, or Latin. This is what I was told by mother. Some how I knew, this wasn't true, but I was a kid, so I just went with it.

As I got older and became a teen, I began to wonder a bit more about my being adopted. But I never felt comfortable asking. To be honest, I was actually scared to ask really. Not scared of what I would find out, scared of what my mother would say to me for asking. Since you know, it was "no body's business" perhaps it wasn't mine either. So I never asked, and I was never told anything by my mother. I even at times, with my teenager angst, grew to think on occasions " your not my real mother!" But it was something I would never say out loud to my mother. I would probably get my ass beat if I did! Well life goes on, things happen and I ended up leaving home at 19 years old. I left with anger and dislike filled in my heart for my mother. I left and didn't want to go back or for her to know where I was or to even have anything to do with her. Even the family. Because even if I did deal with other family, word would get to her somehow, and I didn't want that. I would on occasions have contact with my sister in law. We got along really well, and I know she was sad and probably disappointed in me, but she understood me and my reasoning to why I did what I did. She knew about my adoption, and knew I was curious about it, as well as my true ethnicity. She was the one to tell me what my ethnicity was, and even a little about my adoption. She got this info from my older brother. I loved my brother, but I also was scared to talk to him after leaving home. It was due to my pride, and that disappointment I feared he had in me as well. Well my sister in law revealed to me that I was adopted at 2 1/2 years old, and it was due to some sort of abusive situation. She also told me that my ethnicity was Puerto Rican, black and Spanish. Hooray!! Finally an ethnicity I can identify with, and tell people with confidence! Sadly, I did eventually stop contact with my sister in law.

My next step, was to see if I could get more information about my adoption. But how do I search and get info? How can I find my birth mother and father?

I started my search by calling the Social Services in Los Angeles. I gave them my date of birth, social and name. I was anxious and hopeful they would have info for me. Unfortunately, they couldn't give me any info. There was nothing under my name in their system. The lady on the phone asked if "Krystale" was my birth name. Now, this question totally perplexed me. My birth name?? You mean my name could have been changed? I wasn't born as "Krystale"?! Wow. As far as I have known, that was my name and I knew nothing else. The lady informed me, that my birth name could have been changed through the court, and so I would need that info to go further. Gosh, what a let down. But I wasn't ready to give up, not just yet any ways.

I really had no idea where to begin or how to even do the search. I didn't have money to pay for a private investigator, nor was I planning on going on some TV show. So I found a forum on line for adoptees to get help and get questions answered to help with their search. I joined and made a post and someone emailed me to assist me. She asked me if I had my birth certificate, and to look at the number on it, because no matter what, name change and all, that number would remain the same. But I unfortunately did not have it. That was with my mom, at the home I had left behind. I had no intentions of going back and asking her for help either.

So off I went to obtain a copy of my birth certificate. But once I had it, I still didn't know what to do. What do the numbers on the bottom mean? How were they going to help in my search? What was my next step? I knew nothing of my adoption. No bio parent info to go by at all. No birth name to mention, no nothing really. I began to feel lost, and the lady I was emailing said she needed more info. But I didn't have any to give her. And this is where my search came to a halt. This was where I said, well I will just put this on hold for now. Maybe it's not that time for me yet.

Life went on, and for years I didn't continue with my search. It did sit in the back of my mind, but I wasn't feeling eager enough to start it back up. So this little Puerto Rican adopted girl just continued on with life as it were. I would mention to others on occasions I was adopted, but didn't always talk about it openly. Probably because I never did as a kid, since I wasn't allowed too. But now as an adult I felt ok with saying " Yes, I was adopted."