A letter to my past self

Dear 2019 Krystale,

2020 is going to be quite a year! It’s going to be a serious episode of Black Mirror/Handmaids Tale like never seen before. Ok maybe not quite as drastic, but it will seem unreal for sure. The world is in for quite a change. And so are you! You think you enjoy being a stay at home mom now, but next year staying at home will be more normal than ever. That also includes traveling. No one will be doing much of that honestly. If I told you the world shuts down and we go into a quarantine, you’d probably think I was crazy. But it practically does. Why you ask? Because of a virus, that’s been around, but wasn’t taken seriously until it got released into the world some how. It starts all the way in China, then makes it way into America. Then suddenly the need for toilet tissue and paper towels will be highly needed. Store shelf’s will be empty of most tissues, even Kleenex. Why are people stocking up and hoarding toilet tissue? That answer is still unknown! But more than likely one person did it, and others followed suit and became sheep. Sanitation, cleanliness, and our health will be more important than it has ever been. The need to always keep our hands clean will become so important, that even hand sanitizer will also sell out!

Health and safety guidelines will rise like never seen before. That’s a good thing, but it also will seem very scary and uncertainty will put lots of fear in you. People can die from this virus, and those with low immunities become high risk, and most decide that taking care of their health is extremely important and will follow these guidelines as much as possible.

Staying at home is normal for you. You get a few hours now while your daughter is in school,but also you have the luxury of going out whenever or wherever you feel like. Need to run a errand, no problem. Feel like going out to eat as a family? Let’s hop in the car and go! Once the virus starts spreading more and peoples life’s are lost from it at high numbers, the shut down occurs, you won’t be allowed to go out for at least 6 months. There will even be curfews and fines put into place. People will stock up on food and water for this shut down/ quarantine. Stores, banks, restaurants, and most businesses will all close down by an order given by the POTUS and the governor of the state. More transactions and activities will start to move to online transactions, like delivery of fast food, doctors appointments, grocery delivery and it will become more normal. Schools will close and start doing something called distance learning. Your daughter will have to finish pre-k school from home. Parents will be thrown into the position of school teacher until the school year finishes. People will lose jobs, and some will have to learn to work from home. The motto will be “stay safe & stay home”. “ Social distancing will be a big thing, meaning stay a good length away from the people/strangers around you. At least 6 feet away is recommended by the CDC. Oh, and how could I forget, masks. Ugh the use of face mask will become a new norm. Yea, those will sell out fast too! At first you laugh at it, think it’s silly, but then it becomes a thing where you can’t go out with out one. It will be uncomfortable, and because it’s new and uncomfortable you’ll hate it. Unfortunately you’ll be required to “mask up” in order to enter buildings or be out and around people. So find some cute stylish masks, and make it fun, because they will be around for quite some time.

People all over the world will be staying home 24/7 for awhile, unless they need to go out for necessities. You will be home 24/7 with Rosalina, and your husband. Now this has been done before, no big deal. But again you won’t have the freedom to just go out. As a matter of fact, your husband won’t want you or Rosalina to go out. He will protect you and make sure he is the one who goes out when things are needed. He will be a big help and you will both grow your relationship,and become stronger together. Don’t worry, the quarantine life won’t last forever, just keep safe and be smart.

You’ll find fun activities to do at home, but will also struggle. Especially with schooling portion for Rosalina. Let’s face it, you aren’t a school teacher, and you’re definitely not prepared to be one so suddenly. But don’t worry, you’ll be ok, and so will she!

Staying at home and not going out will take a toll on you. And you’ll have a bit of a break down. Your anxiety will rise and you will feel funny,scared,and worried, and yes you will cry a lot, but you’ll overcome it. You’re going to overcome trauma you didn’t even realize you had. Yes girl, you’re about to be woke.

Right in the beginning of all this, your heart will be broken, and a life will be lost way too soon. It will hurt more than you thought it could. Your family will face this loss together, and it will suck greatly. You’ll cry often remembering and wishing this life wasn’t taken so young. You’ll hurt and feel your families pain too. It will ease and those cherished memories will always bring a smile to your face. I don’t know what else to say, because I feel at lost for words. I cry over it often. But cherish your life with your family and hold your baby girl close and tell her you love her often.

A lot really does happen, including an outrage and demand for change for social/racial equality. Unnecessary deaths of Black Americans will bring forth the BLM cause and the voices will be louder this time, and the youth of this generation will help march for change. There will people who don’t understand, but there amazing people who will keep fighting and pushing for change and will do so with compassion, and spread truths and education to spread awareness. The fight for justice is not over, but the news and others will try to quiet the voices, as usual. 🙄 This is also the year a new POTUS will be elected, and it is quite a show! More like a dramatic comedy really. I know politics are boring, but you’ll start to learn a bit more and will do self education and research, so that you are more aware of what effects you and your family.

I know in 2020 you were hoping to find a job in a salon, or do more freelance makeup. You even highly consider something in the cannabis industry, like perhaps at a dispensary. Well, some of this happens, but not the way you think it would.

You do more makeup videos, and you will be getting into cannabis.

You’ll actually smoke more cannabis than you ever have before!! And you’ll do it legally, because you’ll obtain your medical card! It’s going to help you and you’ll learn to use it with intention, to help you throughout your day.

You and best friend have previously chatted about doing something with cannabis and makeup. You’re not sure what, but then decide on incorporating smoking while doing makeup videos for IG. You’ll be nervous, but you find your way and your voice. And you’ll find inspiration and support from people online! You’ll even have a sesh online with a complete stranger! This stranger, named Lauren, will become the biggest inspiration and support, like you’ve never thought. As a matter of fact, you will be working with her, and she will help you get your foot into the cannabis industry! You’ll be unsure of what your getting yourself into, but your curious, and keep showing up to learn more.

Your going to help grow an amazing supportive cannabis community and app! All from home! Lauren is a big blessing and will help guide you and open you to a whole new world! You’ll have something called Zoom conference calls, with other strangers and you’ll learn and practice meditating with these strangers. All while smoking if you feel the need too. No second looks, or thoughts. You’ll even open up, and be vulnerable with them. You’re going to cry a lot. It will be a therapy sesh, and it will be great and help you more than you know. These strangers quickly become good friends, and you’ll grow and work along side them as a team that grows into family. Together you’ll help build Hi-Curious. Together you’ll make dreams come true.

You know how you like to create stuff for fun? Like your makeup videos, and little graphic stuff? Guess what girl?! You’re about to take it to the next level and learn how to do even more with those skills! You’re going to get a powerful computer, and learn some editing, and video skills. Your husband will help from his knowledge he gained at school, and then you’ll learn on your own as you go also. I know sometimes you find it hard to think of yourself as creative, but trust me, you are. You’ll be constantly reminded and supported by your new friends. You’ll actually find more support from your online friends than you thought possible.

Now there will be a time, where your brand new computer will take a crap on you and you’ll have to do with out it for 3 long months. 3 very frustrating and overwhelming months. But you won’t let that stop you, because you got stuff to get done! You’re going to start your own business and get paid for being creative!

You’ll have a show on this new app, where you get to go live, sesh and do makeup, with out feeling strange or needing to hide yourself from fear of others thinking badly of you. You’ll be free to do you, spread your wisdom and talents with those who truly want to support and learn from you. You still have time to develop this, but you need to do some thinking and decide how you will be building brand YOU. It’s overwhelming at times, but take it slowly. You’ve got a great team to help you develop this!

You’ll continue to build your relationship with your sisters, and your love and appreciation for each other will grow. I wish I could say you get to meet them, but you will soon. You’ve put many things into the universe and are manifesting amazing things, so finally meeting your sisters and your family will happen. 2020 just isn’t the year for it.

2020 will be a struggle at first, but blessings and many opportunities will emerge and you’ll slowly come out of your protective cocoon and spread your wings. Your husband and your daughter will be right by your side for this journey. Be patient with yourself and don’t get overwhelmed. If you need a break or need help, don’t be scared to reach out and ask. You are amazing, strong willed, loving, and smart. You’ve got this!

Love always,

The Boss, AKA, YOU!